Amey Hegde | Corporate Trainer Goa, corporate training Goa, team building Goa

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Strengths Based Parenting

7/7/2017

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Recently, I came across a book "Strengths Based Parenting—Developing Your Child’s Innate Talents" by Dr. Mary Reckmeyer, Executive Director of Gallup’s Donald O. Clifton Child Development Center. According to this book, parents should focus on discovering and developing their children's talents and strengths instead of trying to fix their weaknesses. Reckmeyer says that while the effort spent in fixing weaknesses can only lead to marginal improvement, the same effort spent on an area of talent can make your child excel in that area.
 
To start out on this journey, here are some ways in which parents can identify their children's strengths:
 
i) Strengths spotting: This can be useful for kids under 10 years who are too young for online tests. In strengths spotting, parents observe and pay attention to areas where kids learn more quickly and gain satisfaction, and encourage them in those areas. Some examples of inborn talents are painting, writing or sporting ability. If you notice your child is interested in and good at art, you could enrol her in an art class and provide her good quality colours at home. You could then have a mini exhibition of her artwork at home to encourage her talent. On the other hand personality strengths can be strengths of character like kindness, self-control, persistence. To identify personality strengths, parents can try to figure out the strengths which are the reasons behind their child's various actions. For example a child's kindness could be the reason why he shares with his friends, another child's self-control might be why she is able to finish homework instead of watch TV, and another child's persistence could be the reason he is able to keep practising while learning a new sport.  
 
ii) VIA Youth Survey: Kids aged 10-17 could take the VIA Youth Survey, a free online self-assessment tool that helps young individuals discover their personality strengths. On completing the assessment, one receives a free Character Strengths Profile, a ordered list of one’s strengths. One can also purchase the VIA Youth Decoder Report which provides detailed descriptions, activities and tips for the child's top strengths. This report can help the kid to recognize and exert his strengths in different ways. The VIA survey is available at http://www.viacharacter.org.
 
iii) Gallup StrengthsExplorer: Kids aged 10 to 14 could take the StrengthsExplorer, Gallup's online assessment for students that allows one to recognize one’s three strongest emerging talents. The assessment offers strategies and action items to help students and their parents leverage strengths in the classroom and in life. Visit http://www.strengthsbasedparenting.com
 
Wishing all parents a happy Strengths Based Parenting experience!
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4D Process for Setting and Achieving Goals

12/6/2017

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​On Jan 22, 2017 I attended a session by the World's Leading Management Guru, Brian Tracy at The National Achievers Conference at Bangalore. I loved his 7 step process for goal setting and found it to be very effective. However, when I tried explaining it to others, many found it difficult to remember the 7 steps. Hence I decided to create a simplified process of setting and achieving goals. The 4D process  I came up with consists of 4 simple, easy to remember steps all starting with a D;  Dream, Define, Divide and Do. 
 
Let us explore each of the steps in detail.

Step 1: Dream - Dream of a goal that is both Desirable and Doable.
Desirable - means you really feel motivated to achieve it.
Doable - means you feel it’s possible to achieve it.
 
Example: Ram wants to lose weight this year.
For Ram, this goal is desirable and doable. He really feels motivated to lose weight and feels it’s possible to achieve it.
 
Action for reader: Think of a goal in any area of your life; career, health, relationships, money etc. Now, ask yourself two questions. It is desirable - do you really feel motivated to achieve it? It is doable - do you feel it’s possible to achieve it? If the answer to both these questions is a yes then proceed to step 2, else think of an alternate goal that is both desirable and doable.
 
Step 2: Define - Define the goal on paper with Details and Date.
Details - mention all the details. 
Date - mention the completion date.
 
Example: Ram wrote the following goal. I will lose 5 kg and reduce 2 inches from my waist by 30th November 2017.
Note that in the above goal statement he didn't just say lose weight, he included details like lose 5 kg and reduce 2 inches from my waist and also the date.
 
Why write the goal on paper? If we write it, our mind realises that we are serious about achieving it. Our mind then focuses on the goal and starts working in the background on how to achieve it.
 
Action for reader: Write your goal on paper in below format with details and date.
I will ____ by DD MM YYYY
 
Step 3: Divide - Divide the goal into sub-goals.
 
Make a list of all actions you need to do to achieve the goal. Next, split your goal into sub-goals with dates.
 
Let us continue with Ram’s goal:
Goal: I will lose 5 kg and reduce 2 inches from my waist by 30th November 2017.
 
List of actions:
-Find out exercises for weight loss.
-Find out right diet for weight loss.
-Start exercising daily.
-Reduce eating junk food.
 
Sub-goals with Timelines:
15 July 2017: I will lose 1 kg by 15 July 2017
 
15 September 2017: I will lose 3 kg and 1 inch by 15th September 2017.
 
15 October 2017: I will lose 4 kg and 1.5 inches by 15th October 2017.
 
Action for reader: Make a list of actions needed to achieve your goal. Also write down sub-goals, with dates as shown above.
 
Step 4: Do - Do daily micro-actions.
 
What is the most important thing needed in order to achieve goals? It’s Action.  If we plan for big actions we may keep postponing them. Hence it’s better to start with micro-actions that can be completed in less than 30 minutes. Completing micro-actions motivates us to do more micro-actions that keep moving us towards our goals.
 
Continuing with Ram’s goal, his daily micro-actions could be: 
-Brisk walking for 15 minutes.
-Surya Namaskar (yoga) for 15 minutes.
-Eat fruits instead of junk food.
 
Action for reader: Write down your daily micro-actions, include small things you can easily complete every day.
 
Step 4: Do - Do daily micro-actions.
I have included step 4 again as after a few days, motivation levels may drop. Here are some tips to motivate you to keep doing your daily micro-actions. 
 
i) Plan and schedule each day the night before. Decide a fixed time and place to do your daily micro-action to make it a habit.
 
ii) Overcome distractions creatively. Let’s take the case of Ram whose daily micro-action is to exercise on waking up, but he can’t resist checking his mobile. To avoid the temptation of checking his mobile, he came up with an idea of charging his mobile in the living room instead of the bedroom.
 
iii) Give yourself a micro-reward on completing your micro-action to keep yourself motivated. It could be a piece of chocolate/fruit, a short chat with a friend or watching a short youtube video.
 
Action for reader: Decide a fixed time and place to do your daily micro-actions, come up with creative ways to overcome distractions, and choose micro-rewards that motivate you to keep doing your micro-actions.
 
To summarise, the 4D process of setting and achieving goals consists of 4 simple steps:
-Dream of a goal that is desirable and doable.
-Define it on paper with details and deadline.
-Divide it into sub-goals.
-Do daily micro-actions.
 
Wish all readers happy 4D Goal Setting!
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English Translation of a Konkani Poem on Attitude of Gratitude by Poorva Gude and Amey Hegde

21/3/2017

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Poorva Gude and me recently translated a Konkani Poem on the theme of Attitude of Gratitude by the great poet Manohar Rai Sardesai. Would like to express thanks to Datti Kunde and Pravin Sabnis for their valuable inputs and suggestions.   
Original Konkani Poem by
Dr. Manohar Rai Sardesai​

जिणेन म्हाका सगळें दिलें 
 
हांवे किदेंच मागल्या बगर 
जिणेन म्हाका सगळें दिलें 

खोंप दिली रांदन दिली
रांदनीचेर तपलें दिलें
भांगरा वरी पितळे भितर
मोतयां वरी शीत दिलें. 

आंब्या-रूखा सांवळी दिली 
चुडटांचें वारें दिलें
मळबा वरी निळ्या तळ्यांत 
साळकांचें रूप दिलें.

मोगाळ, पिकाळ माती दिली 
गांवा येदें भाट दिलें
घरा भितर, पोरसा भितर 
पोरां फळां पीक दिलें. 

वाव दिलो, वादळ दिलें 
लख्ख विजे-हांसें दिलें 
दोंगरा येद्या ल्हारां मदीं 
दिव्या-घरा मन दिलें. 

गुलाब दिले, कांटे दिले
कांटे सोंसपी काळीज दिलें 
उमाशेच्या दोळ्यांत म्हज्या
पूनवेचें सपन दिलें.

हांवे किदेंच मागल्या बगर 
जिणेन म्हाका सगळें दिलें 
कोलवाच्या खोंपींत म्हजया 
विश्वाचें धन दिलें.
​ English Translation by Poorva Gude & Amey Hegde

​​​
Life gave me everything
 
Without me asking for anything 
Life gave me everything
 
A cozy hut, a warm stove
a pot to sit atop the stove
in my gold hued brass plate
pearl like cooked rice awaits.
 
The shade of the mango tree
breeze of swaying palms so free
the sky like blue lake waters
are made beautiful by the lotus.
 
Loving, fertile soil
a village sized farm to toil 
in my home and garden takes root
a rich harvest of children and fruits.
 
Both, ways and storms to fight
and laughter like lightening, bright
amidst mountain like waves
a lighthouse like mind you gave.
 
Roses as well as thorns that smart
to bear these thorns, a strong heart
in my eyes in the dark night
gave dreams of the full moon light.
 
Without me asking for anything
Life gave me everything
To my humble home
World's treasures Life brings.
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​About Manohar Rai Sardesai 
Dr. Manohar Rai Sardesai was a Konkani poet/writer from Goa, India who contributed a lot to Konkani literature in India. He has been credited for an upsurge of modern Konkani poetry. Sardesai died in 2006.
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Catch That Big Fish!

19/3/2017

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Pursuing Big Dreams - Catch That Big Fish!
Written by  Amey in June 2012


 A few years back, on a sunny Sunday morning, I visited Palolem beach with my cousins. When we reached the beach, we could see a lovely deserted island popularly known as ‘Monkey Island’ (marked as Kankon Island on Google maps). The island alluringly beckoned to us and we decided to take a closer look at it.
We walked towards a rocky area, as the villagers told us we could wade across from there to ‘Monkey Island’ in low tide. However, we found that the water between us and the island was neck deep and the current very strong. We decided not be take a risk and instead sat down to enjoy the sea view.

After a while, we noticed an old man fishing. He seemed to be having a bad day, as there were only three-four small fish next to him. We felt sorry for him and hoped he would catch a bigger one. After a few minutes, our prayers were answered and he reeled in a big fish. We felt happy thinking he would have a good meal. However, to our dismay, he removed the big fish from the hook and threw it back into the water. We were shocked! We asked him “Why did you throw the big fish back?” He gave us a toothless grin and said “I only have a tiny tavo (frying pan) at home.”
After a good laugh, one of my cousins advised him to buy a bigger frying pan. Another suggested that he could cut the big fish into small pieces before frying it!
This is not a true story. Also, this article is not about fishing and frying pans, but about following our big dreams.
Like the old man who threw back the big fish because it did not fit his tiny frying pan, we often dismiss our big dreams because we feel they are too big to fit our existing mindsets and abilities.
Let us apply the two approaches suggested above to achieve our big dreams.

Approach 1: Get a bigger frying pan
a. Boost your self-confidence. Zig Ziglar, the world's foremost authority on motivation says “When your image improves, your performance improves”. Make a list of your ten best achievements so far, your top strengths and what other people see as your strengths and top abilities and read this list to gain confidence.
b. Ensure that your dream is important to you and is in sync with your top values in life.
c. Acquire new skills/abilities needed to achieve your dream. According to Jim Rohn, America's foremost business philosopher, “You must either modify your dreams or magnify your skills.” Identify the skills needed to achieve your dream and see how you can acquire them. Find experts and learn from them. 
 
Approach 2: Cut the fish into small pieces
Achieving your big dream might seem overwhelming at first. Break the big dream into smaller, more manageable goals. Think about something that you can do within one month, within a week and what you can do today to achieve that big dream.

​That big dream is waiting for you. Cast your line and reel in that big dream!
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    Amey Hegde is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer & an Internationally Published Author based in Goa, India

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  • home
  • Offerings
    • Partial List of Offerings
    • Effective Spoken & Written English
    • OpenSessions >
      • Creating Positivity Within™
    • Personality
  • Clients
  • Testimonials
  • Gifts
    • Free Ebooks
    • Trainings Events In Goa
    • Resources for Job Seekers in Goa
    • Jobs in Goa Telegram Channel
    • PositiveNews
    • Positivity Boosters!
    • Cracking That Interview
    • Trainer & HR Resources
    • Inspire to Reach Higher >
      • Book Reviews
    • Blog
    • InspiringHeroes
    • Goal Setting & Planning
    • WIN
  • Contact